To Have and To Hold

Tomorrow, Jordan and I will celebrate two years of marriage. I cannot believe that time has flown by this quickly, and while I look forward to the future, I want time to slow down so I may squeeze the very best out of each minute with the one I love so dearly. I have learned a lot over these past few years, some good lessons, some hard lessons, but all necessary. After some reflection, I have decided to share just a few things I never expected to learn from our marriage. Jordan is my best friend, greatest teacher, and sweetest love, what a blessing it is to walk through life with him.

25 Things I Never Expected From Marriage:

1. Romance would shift from an accumulation of fancy gifts to small acts of service, and the service would mean much more than the fancy gift.
2. Sleeping together would feel like a dream each and every night.
3. The very best date nights would include a redbox movie, QT drinks, and Little Caesars pizza.
4. Being poor and happy, means so much more than plenty of money to blow.
5. There is never nothing to talk about.
6. Submitting to Jordan’s leadership would be a daily act of giving up control, while it has gotten a little easier, it will never be my natural inclination. I pray for a submissive heart as much as I pray for anything else.
7. Knowing Jordan’s flaws and seeing him fail has only caused me to love him more, because where he has failed in the past he has overcome through a humble and contrite spirit.
8. My flaws would become more visible, but I would not walk through my failures alone. Jordan has helped guide me and above all he has loved me unconditionally in spite of myself.
9. A small home with many projects would be the greatest test of a marriage and sanity.
10. The first year would be so hard and the second would feel like the honeymoon all over again.
11. Our differences would slowly begin to fade.
12. One phrase changes the entire course of an argument.
13. Saying “I’m sorry” means much more than being right.
14. The only acceptance I desire would be from The Lord and Jordan- no one else’s thoughts matter.
15. Sacrificing money, time, or pride would mean nothing in comparison to seeing a smile on Jordan’s face.
16. Pursuing intimacy with Jesus only produced a greater intimacy with Jordan.
17. Attraction and physical intimacy would derive from a love of each other’s souls, not a perfect body, face, and hair. No matter how Jordan looks, no one could ever give me tingles the way he does.
18. Time together is the greatest commodity.
19. Marriage would turn even the most logical of men into a Mr. Darcy.
20. Morning snuggles would help us get through the day, especially on Mondays.
21. Despite our differences, we would never want to change anything about the other.
22. Ambitions would change from a desire to be a career woman to aspiring to be the best wife, and eventual mother, I could possibly be.
23. Choosing our battles would become easier the more we desired each other’s needs above our own.
24. Marriage would only work at its peak when we are both in the right place with Jesus Christ.
25. Lastly, I never expected to be able to love Jordan any more than I did the day we wed, but each and every day, I realize that I love more because I have a greater capacity to love more. My heart has grown to love Jordan for the man he was, the man he is, and the man he will become. My heart has grown to love what he loves, and my heart has grown to love him for his integrity, his devotion, and his faithfulness to the Lord.

Jordan and I will never have it all together! We have had to learn so much in the past two years, just to even begin to fully understand each other, but Jordan and I love deeply. It is our steadfast love for each other and for the Lord that has bound us together. Our marriage is a product of perseverance and God’s grace, not of our own, selfish doing. These past two years have been the best two years of my life. Each day I wake up to the man God specifically created to walk through life with me. Jordan shares in my sorrows, joys, and all the moments in between. Aside from the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, Jordan is my greatest gift. An eternity by his side will never be enough, but while we are here on earth, I vow now, forever, and just as I did two years ago, to stand beside my husband through all things, to love him in spite of whatever may come, and to pursue with steadfast devotion a deeper relationship with our Savior. I love you with all my heart Jordan Lance.

Changing My Perspective Part II

It has been an icy weekend here in Burleson! We have had three days of nothing, and it has been wonderful! God knows just how caught up we get with everything else, and this weekend, I think He gave us some rest. He has allowed for us to recharge and greet the rest of this beautiful season with full hearts. Today Jordan and I are working on our little projects. He is busy finishing the tile in our kitchen, while I am working on homework/ blog posts. Due to a week-long trip to New York, the craziness of a new job, and the ever-so-consistent school work, I have not had a chance to follow-up with my last post. However, that doesn’t mean I have not taken action.

The day after I posted my last blog, I brought ALL of my clothes into our living room, set up our full length mirror, and began trying on every piece of clothing I had. And you know what I found? I didn’t need over half of what I had. I’d try on pieces I had kept for years and quickly realized why I don’t wear them regularly anymore. I tried on pants that were too small, shirts with snags, dresses that should have been left in High School, and shoes with many stories to tell! With each piece that did not work, I felt relief, not sadness. I was not upset that I don’t fit into my high school jeans anymore, because it means that I have grown up. It means that with the widening of my hips, I have also had a growth in wisdom, maturity, and in my relationship with the Lord. With each dress that was too short, I realized that I had grown from a desire to be noticed for my appearance, to a desire to be respected and loved for my heart. I realized that my confidence was no longer found in just how beautiful I could appear to the rest of the world, but in how my mind and my heart shared the beauty of God’s love! With each shoe that I gave away, I thanked God for the many steps that had been taken, and for allowing me to continue in my walk with Him. Every time I threw another piece of clothing into that unwanted pile, I also felt joy in knowing that my gently used clothing could make another girl feel beautiful. My unwanted and unnecessary clothing could be what keeps a girl warm at night, or what gives her the confidence to walk into school with a pretty outfit. As I reminded myself of what my old clothing could be used for, the more I was encouraged to give away.

When I started going through my clothes, I had 2 closets worth of stuff that filled an entire living room floor. By the end of the day, the clothing I kept was laid out on the couch and fit in the closet Jordan and I share. Six baskets of shoes were dwindled down to just a few, and for the first time every t-shirt I own can fit nicely into our dresser. When it came time to pack for our trip to New York, the process wasn’t stressful because I already knew everything I had! Each day I wake up it takes less time to get ready because I am not trying to find what fits or looks the best, everything just works. What a stress reliever it has been!

I don’t know if I will ever be perfect at this whole organization thing, but I am determined with live without clutter. I am determined to be grateful for what I have, and to only spend my time and money on things that truly matter to me. Does this mean I won’t enjoy a little shopping with my mom and sister? No, it just means that I will buy quality, not quantity. Does this mean that Jordan and I won’t enjoy splurging here and there on household items, projects, or vacations? No! We will still enjoy certain things in life, but we will not buy in order to just have more. In my next post I will share how my perspective in regards to our home has changed, and I will even share how I have dealt with the accumulation of stuff in regards to all things Christmas. I hope and pray that my life will never be defined by my accumulation of things or by the fulfillment of every desire (good or bad) that I ever had. I pray my life with be defined as one who loved Jesus with her whole heart, walked in humility, and encouraged others in their walk. I realize going through clothing may seem a bit trivial to some, but as I found with my closet, God uses even the small things to teach huge life lessons.

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

Matthew 6:19-20