23 and Married- A Christian’s Response

Lately I have seen quite a few ladies share a post on my Facebook feed titled “23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23”, and I must admit the article offended me quite a bit, as well as made me shake my head towards the stupidity of the suggestions. What bothered me most was the fact the ladies who claim to follow Christ were posting it with words plastered above it such as, “truth”, “a must read”, “every single lady must read this!” As I dove into the article I noticed that her entire premise was off base. Yes, the divorce rate among those who marry young is pathetic. Yes, divorce has become a mere “hit it and quit it” excuse for a big day all about the bride. What she fails to understand is that for those of us who have gotten married young (21 for me!), and who claim to follow Christ, divorce has never been apart of our vocabulary. Divorce simply has never been an option, nor will it ever be, and this should be the mentality of ALL believers.

The writer goes on to say that we are not our parents generation nor our grandparents for that matter. But I must ask, they all got married young, pursued careers, defied societal expectations, valued family, and maintained a sense of morality in American culture. Of those things just mentioned, what is so bad? Perhaps if we sought to be more like them our world would be a much better place. I, for one, love the idea of being a young mom, I love the idea of experiencing as much of life as possible with the love of my life, and I love everything about being married. I am not confined to this picket fence, settled down lifestyle; instead I have the freedom to grow alongside the one I love, to build a legacy with him, and see the world through a lovers eyes. What a blessing it is to be married! It is not a ball and chain, and it’s not the imprisonment of everything I ever hoped to be! Sure we don’t have the money to fly all over the world because we own a home, maintain a steady job, and all those other things, but it has by no means kept us from experiencing the best parts of life.

As I read through her list I realized that her suggestions were merely the ramblings of an 18 year old stuck in a 23 year olds body. In essence she wants nothing to do with responsibility. She wants to travel, explore new religions, make out with random people, and focus merely on herself. As a Christian, life can never be so selfish. As a woman after God’s own heart, we are to have a passion for Him and for his people. We are called to serve strangers, not make out with them. We are called to go in order to proclaim Christ’s name, not for our own selfish gain. We are called to view our bodies as a temple, not to fill it with junk and pose naked for the world to see. We are called to honor our parents, not to disappoint them. We are called to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, not to fill our minds with false teaching. We are called to be different, not trendy, hipster, prepster or anything -ster. If more Christians chose to be different from the rest of the world, perhaps the divorce rates would be different. Perhaps, we, as believers, would be taken more seriously.

Ladies who call yourselves Christians, do not be fooled by the ramblings of a non-believer. Ultimately, she is lonely and tired of being single as well. If she weren’t she wouldn’t have written such condescending words towards those who are married so young. Sure, in a few years I hope to have a family. I won’t be as thin as I used to be, and I hope to be pregnant. But I will be living in accordance with God’s will for my life. I will have a husband that is only devoted to me, and children whom I will be blessed to nurture and teach. As she states in her article, you are responsible for your own happiness, but what she fails to state is that, as a believer, you are also responsible for following God’s Word and allowing Him to direct your life, not the whims of the world.

All in all, BE DIFFERENT! Go and do what God has called you to do with wild abandonment. Place your trust in HIS plan for your life. Let Him bring that amazing man into your life and show you all He has for you. If He doesn’t have Mr. Right come your way anytime soon, then just pursue intimacy with your Savior, that’s all he wants. As someone who did get married at 21, take it from me, you will never miss out on the beauty of life. Only the best lies ahead!

I’m Feeling 22…Life in Transition

The popular Taylor Swift song glorifies being twenty-two. It’s catchy, popular, and just so happens to be the opposite of how I have felt about being twenty-two. Granted I am unlike many twenty-two year olds in that I am married, own a home in the suburbs, and have an intense bout of baby fever. But along with all that grown up talk, I have yet to finish my degree (August 2014 better hurry up y’all!), I am struggling to get a photography business consistently growing, I am the ONLY one of my closest friends who is married, and out of the close friends I have around me now I am the only one without kids or some on the way. I am literally in a twenty-two year olds no man’s land. One minute I am worrying about finances and trying to sneak through the baby section at Target, the next I’m at a Justin Bieber concert (which was awesome by the way, don’t hate!). Life is at just an awkward transition. I’m learning that college ruins a girls wardrobe, and that marriage ruins any hope of returning to the jeans I wore in High School. Yoga pants, sorority t-shirts, and Nike shorts, don’t cut it in the real world. I am learning that school after marriage is frustrating and monotonous, and while it is necessary to finish, the motivation to finish is extremely lacking. I am learning that baby fever comes fast and envelopes your whole mind and CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT be removed once it has festered in the mind. I am learning that owning a home, while it is a wonderful thing, is also a money drain because things are constantly needing to be done. And throughout all of this, I have noticed that I have been real quick to feel sorry for myself (or take it out on my husband) rather than going to the Father. I have sought to live stress free, without seeking His wisdom and understanding. I have prayed for different situations before asking for the Lord’s will to be done. And I have looked back, instead of pressing on towards what is ahead. Being twenty-two has been hard for me, but it should never have been used as an excuse to push the Lord out of my life. Will I look back on this year of my life and love every aspect about it? Heck no! However, I will be able to look back and see just how much God allowed for me to grow, in spite of my selfish attitude. Aside from all the funny/ridiculous lessons I have learned, I am in the process of learning to develop an attitude of gratefulness and constant seeking of the Lord’s will. Right now I am meant to be in this stage of life. He is in complete control! Despite my lazy wardrobe, project weekends, school frustrations, financial worries, and baby rabies filled life, God knows where I am. He understands my fears and worries. He wraps me in His comforting arms. He gives blessings along the way to remind me He is in control, and He continually uses each lesson to shape me into the woman I am supposed to be for Him. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I do know, without a doubt, who has planned my steps. If you are at a transitional point in life, I urge you to turn to the Father. Don’t waste time fretting about things you have no control over, like I did. Instead choose to seize each day, to wake up knowing that God will teach you something and reveal Himself to you, if you allow Him to. Our world is filled with too much stress and not enough gratefulness. From this day forward, I refuse to let stress de-rail me from pressing on towards what God has for me. I refuse to let my feelings of self-doubt and insecurity take over my confidence and joy in the Lord. Above all, I refuse to let twenty-two be a year in which I learned nothing. In a few weeks, I will turn twenty-three. I pray that when I transition from this year to the next that I will look forward for all the things ahead…After all there is a college graduation, the hope of a baby, financial stability (once I’m a graduate), deeper relationships in our community, more time with family, another wonderful year with the love of my life, coming up. Above all there is to look forward to, I pray twenty-three will be a year in which my relationship with the Lord only grows.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Memorial Day with my handsome Hubby! After our house had just gone through some MAJOR organizing!

Big project of the summer Operation new porch and roof.

Me at the JB Concert.