Round 2.

I am now a week away from being 8 months pregnant with our second daughter, and it amazes me how fast this pregnancy has gone by. In many ways, I keep wanting time to slow down. I have this amazing 16 month old who is only going to be my only baby for 8 more weeks. Little Star is active and strong-willed. Her daddy likens her to a “caged tornado”. In many ways she keeps me so very busy, but there are moments with her that have filled my heart with so much love it overflows. I don’t know if every little girl is this way at this age, but Little Star is obsessed with babies. She loves her baby dolls more than anything else. She points out all the babies when we are out and about. And she even cries when a baby leaves the room because she loves them so. As I have watched her become such a nurturer, my heart is put to rest, knowing the Lord is preparing her for her new baby sister, as much as He is preparing me.

I won’t lie, in many ways, I am terrified of being the mama of two girls. I am terrified I won’t have enough love to give the three people who need me most. I am afraid of being tired and frustrated and taking it out on my two innocent girls. I am afraid of losing myself in motherhood that I forget to be the wife God has called me to be, first and foremost. I am afraid I won’t get back in shape like I want to. I am afraid of trying to raise two young ladies who love Jesus and respect themselves in a culture that pushes everything ungodly at them.

Yet, when these thoughts invade my mind, my Savior comes in and brings me hope. He brings me hope through watching our daughter fall in love with every baby she sees, because I know she will love her baby sister. He brings me hope when my husband says he loves me and tells me how thankful he is for all that I do. He brings me hope through His word.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Every day, I am reminded that this beautiful, fulfilling job of stay-at-home-wife-&-mom, is almost impossible without the strength of my Savior. When I feel as though I have no more to give, He gives me the strength to keep going. When the duties of my job cloud the joy found in staying home, He fills my heart with His joy, and reminds me to count my blessings. I am so thankful for His Grace. I am so thankful for His Love. I am thankful for His calling.

As we begin to round the last curve of this pregnancy, I hope to hold my sweet girl closer and tighter during these last days of “just us”. I hope to remind my husband how thankful I am for his leadership, service to our family, and for the amazing ways he loves his girls. I hope to grow in my relationship with my Savior, trusting His plan everyday, and seeking His strength in order to fulfill the calling He has placed on my life.

Dumb Phone.

A month ago, I came to terms with my smart-phone and social media addiction. The day after I posted my blog, J and I went all around town trying to find a place that would give us a dumb phone, and in almost every place our desire to go dumb was met with shocked faces, and a hefty price tag for the dumb phones. Thankfully, Amazon always comes through. We were able to buy AT&T ZTE GoPhones for about $15.00 a piece and added them to our Christmas list for each other. Once the phones came in, I called customer service and was able to switch SIM cards over easily.

At first, I missed my iPhone. I hated not being able to waste time playing catch up with everyone’s lives. I hated not having the perfectly captured moment on my camera roll. I hated the fact that my phone didn’t bing and buzz as often, making me feel less important.

Yet, I noticed a change in my focus. Instead of being distracted with the photos and statements of others, I have been able to sit down without distraction. I have been able to study and observe each way our daughter is growing, without a screen in my way. My house is kept cleaner, and I am not running as behind. I can interact in conversations that I would have missed otherwise. My husband isn’t asking me to get off my phone on a daily basis to focus on him. And in many ways, I have been much more productive than I have been in years.

As far as my mood is concerned, I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with my husband. I am at peace with the development of our daughter. I am at peace with our home. I am at peace with my things. I am simply at peace. I don’t know if that would have been possible without making a drastic change in my day to day life.

My day looks a little different now. Instead of waking up first thing to check my phone, I wake up to my daughter’s bright eyes saying “HI!” over and over again. Instead of checking out the latest gossip over a bowl of cereal, my daughter and I pray together, and even after we pray, I watch my daughter hold my hand for just a little bit longer as she fills her mouth with cheerios. I am no longer worried about crafting the perfect photo, because I am learning that no camera can capture the beauty of a moment the way God designed our eyes to. In the car, my phone is in my purse, and my mind is thinking on the conversation my husband and I are sharing. At the dinner table, I often don’t even know where I set my phone last. I don’t take pictures of my food. I don’t allow for my husband to talk to a head looking down, and I don’t allow for my focus to be anywhere but in the moment. In the evenings, we actively watch a show together, or we work on our newest project, or we simply talk. And before bed, I read and read until I’m too tired to read anymore.

As each day of this journey has passed, I have noticed some changes in the way my family reacts to me. My daughter has been much more affectionate than she has ever been. She comes to give me kisses and hugs in the middle of her playing, because I am right there. She is learning a new word each day, and we spend a lot of our day staring in each other’s eyes jibber-jabbering and laughing. There are less tears, moments of frustration, and more moments in which I thank God for allowing me to stay home with her each day. My daughter finally knows she has her mama’s attention, which is all she wanted in the first place. With J, we have shared more pillow talk and laughs in the last month than we have in the last few years combined. My mom made the comment that she believes we are at the best place we have ever been in our marriage, and I truly believe a big part of that is due to the lack of distractions and comparisons that no longer fill our home. We are happy, content, and more unified than we have ever been. Our communication is at it’s best, and for the first time in a long time, we aren’t having to fight a phone to get the attention we desire.

The Lord is continually showing me new areas of distraction and selfishness that I need to address. But He is also, encouraging me along the way with each positive reaction I gain from my family. Getting your life back on track is never easy, and I know it will be a daily choice, but I long to be present and available for those I love most. I long to be filled with beautiful moments and memories not found on a camera roll. Most of all, I long to honor God with every aspect of my life, even if it means dealing with and giving up some pretty major things in my life.

When I began this journey, I knew things would change, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle the changes or not. Looking back over this past month, I feel in many ways that I have gotten my life and my joy for this life back. I don’t know how things will change in the future, but I do think that living life a little dumber is here to stay, and I couldn’t be more excited!

If you’re looking to make a change like I did, but in a not so drastic way (at first), I highly recommend the book, Hands Free Mama, by Rachel Macy Stafford. You can check our her blog and books here: http://www.handsfreemama.com/hands-free-mama/.

If you would like to make a phone change, there are a lot of great options on Amazon! You might be surprised at how much you love going “dumb”.

*In case you wanted a few numbers, J and I paid $110.00 a month for cell phone service with our iPhones. In February, our contract will be up, and our bill will go down to $45.00 a month for cell phone service.

photo credit: Arianna Randle at http://arianarandlephotography.com/

A Season of Waiting

Writing is a true therapy for me. I am not always gushing to write something, but when I am inspired I must take the time to sit down and pen what is in my heart. Often times I succeed at writing when I feel led, but learning to write as a discipline has been something I have been working on. When 2014 started I had the goal of writing one post a week. I love reading weekly blog posts and I love to write so I figured I should give it a try. Yet, here we are six weeks into the new year and I have already failed at one of my resolutions. This week will change that. My goal for the weekly blog posts is to virtually bring you into my living room as my friend. I want you to feel as though we are sitting there drinking a glass of sweet tea as a pie bakes in the oven, sharing our joys and sorrows.

This past October, I visited my mom’s hometown, with my mom, sister, aunt, and granny. While in Henderson we visited one of my Granny’s friends, Lillian. As I walked into her home I was greeted with the smell of a fresh-baked pumpkin pie, along with a sweet southern embrace. While sharing our pie we talked about our various lives, where we had gone and what we had done. Of the seven women present, five of them had experienced tremendous loss in some way. Some had lost children, others their husbands, and yet they continued to be women of unconditional joy and faith. As I sat there observing their moments of tears and laughter, I couldn’t help but to wish for the same.

Our culture is so caught up in running to the next thing, having the perfect life, and filling our time with more stuff that we forget to stop, share a piece of pie and catch up on life. We’d rather text than talk on the phone. We’d rather look at instagram than experience life with others. We’d rather catch up on the latest news on Facebook than invite people into our home. We have no problem sharing the happy things on social media, but we will not dare look vulnerable or share our sorrows with others. I don’t want to be like that any longer. I want to be open with others, letting them see the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want others to feel at home in my presence, not like they must have it all together. At the end of it all I want to be a portrait of God’s grace, sharing with others that when I have fallen, my Savior has picked me up. Therefore, even if life becomes routine, I will seek to use this blog as a means of worshipping God in the midst of monotony. In times of joy I will share His wonderful blessings, and in times of sorrow, I will share of His life-altering lessons and the peace only He can give.

After our cruise last June, Jordan and I felt called to begin trying to start a family. So far, eight months later, it still hasn’t happened. I know for some eight months seems like nothing compared to eight years, but I have begun to have an understanding of the monthly heartbreak that comes after a negative test comes back. I want nothing more than to be a mother. I breathe, eat, sleep all things motherhood right now. It is all I think about! I have given up cokes and sugar (for the most part), brought yoga into my daily routine, and disciplined myself to wake up with Jordan so I can get things done around the house before he gets home. Jordan and I have specifically gotten our finances in order so that we may be ready when a baby does come. I daydream of how I will tell Jordan, our families, and the world when the time comes, and I pin all things baby when I have a few minutes to spare. Yet despite all of my  “preparation”, God has not answered my prayer.

After getting a few negative tests, I began to get jealous of all the happy moms and pregnant ladies around me. I began to rush God’s timing for my own desires. I would only pray really hard when the time would come for a test, and when it came back negative I would cry out of disappointment. Up until January this was a cyclical series of emotions. While at church one day I felt so convicted for my attitude. I felt ashamed for not trusting God’s timing and for attempting to rush His perfect plan. I was so convicted I walked up to the altar of the church, and just as Hannah poured her heart before the Lord (1 Samuel 1:10-16), I surrendered my desire for motherhood to Him.

This act of surrendering my greatest desire to the Lord has by no means been easy. My sinful nature pushes me to rush this time. I want to blow past all of this waiting instead of savoring each moment as a gift. Despite my impatience, God has me in this season of waiting for a reason. I must completely and fully trust Him. 1 Samuel 1:20, according to the ESV version, says that Hannah conceived a child in due time. The Bible does not tell us when exactly this happened, but it did happen in God’s timing. When God was finished preparing Hannah for the miracle of a child He answered her prayer. I believe the same will happen for me. I often feel as though I am ready now, but ultimately God says I am not. I need to trust Him and His timing more, and I need to desire Him more than I desire a child. Above all, I do not want to waste this time any longer.

So, for this season of waiting, I will love Jesus more. I will cherish the time I have with Jordan as just the two of us. I will work hard to be healthy and fit for when a blessing comes my way. I will snuggle with my pups while they are still my fur-babies. I will spend Saturdays photographing life on our little farm. I will be motivated to persevere through my job and school. I will dream up new ways to improve our home. I will plant gardens, travel, sing, read, and write. I will spend this time of in-between, experiencing the very best of life. When I feel as though I am beginning to slip, I will remember God’s Word- “But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

I know this has been a lot to read and take in, and I thank you for taking the time to read a part of my life. If you are in the same boat as me, know that you are not alone at any point of this process. I hope that you were encouraged in some way and I hope that we all will truly learn the depth of Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

Here are a few pictures from our little farm:

A beautiful cardinal in one of our front trees.

Our lab, Breck, patiently waiting for Jordan’s command to come.

Jordan and the dogs playing in the background.

My favorite flowers, and favorite weekly pick-me-up from my thoughtful husband.

Little birds at our feeder.

My bird watching partner, Brisket.

Female cardinal at the feeder.

23 and Married- A Christian’s Response

Lately I have seen quite a few ladies share a post on my Facebook feed titled “23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23”, and I must admit the article offended me quite a bit, as well as made me shake my head towards the stupidity of the suggestions. What bothered me most was the fact the ladies who claim to follow Christ were posting it with words plastered above it such as, “truth”, “a must read”, “every single lady must read this!” As I dove into the article I noticed that her entire premise was off base. Yes, the divorce rate among those who marry young is pathetic. Yes, divorce has become a mere “hit it and quit it” excuse for a big day all about the bride. What she fails to understand is that for those of us who have gotten married young (21 for me!), and who claim to follow Christ, divorce has never been apart of our vocabulary. Divorce simply has never been an option, nor will it ever be, and this should be the mentality of ALL believers.

The writer goes on to say that we are not our parents generation nor our grandparents for that matter. But I must ask, they all got married young, pursued careers, defied societal expectations, valued family, and maintained a sense of morality in American culture. Of those things just mentioned, what is so bad? Perhaps if we sought to be more like them our world would be a much better place. I, for one, love the idea of being a young mom, I love the idea of experiencing as much of life as possible with the love of my life, and I love everything about being married. I am not confined to this picket fence, settled down lifestyle; instead I have the freedom to grow alongside the one I love, to build a legacy with him, and see the world through a lovers eyes. What a blessing it is to be married! It is not a ball and chain, and it’s not the imprisonment of everything I ever hoped to be! Sure we don’t have the money to fly all over the world because we own a home, maintain a steady job, and all those other things, but it has by no means kept us from experiencing the best parts of life.

As I read through her list I realized that her suggestions were merely the ramblings of an 18 year old stuck in a 23 year olds body. In essence she wants nothing to do with responsibility. She wants to travel, explore new religions, make out with random people, and focus merely on herself. As a Christian, life can never be so selfish. As a woman after God’s own heart, we are to have a passion for Him and for his people. We are called to serve strangers, not make out with them. We are called to go in order to proclaim Christ’s name, not for our own selfish gain. We are called to view our bodies as a temple, not to fill it with junk and pose naked for the world to see. We are called to honor our parents, not to disappoint them. We are called to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, not to fill our minds with false teaching. We are called to be different, not trendy, hipster, prepster or anything -ster. If more Christians chose to be different from the rest of the world, perhaps the divorce rates would be different. Perhaps, we, as believers, would be taken more seriously.

Ladies who call yourselves Christians, do not be fooled by the ramblings of a non-believer. Ultimately, she is lonely and tired of being single as well. If she weren’t she wouldn’t have written such condescending words towards those who are married so young. Sure, in a few years I hope to have a family. I won’t be as thin as I used to be, and I hope to be pregnant. But I will be living in accordance with God’s will for my life. I will have a husband that is only devoted to me, and children whom I will be blessed to nurture and teach. As she states in her article, you are responsible for your own happiness, but what she fails to state is that, as a believer, you are also responsible for following God’s Word and allowing Him to direct your life, not the whims of the world.

All in all, BE DIFFERENT! Go and do what God has called you to do with wild abandonment. Place your trust in HIS plan for your life. Let Him bring that amazing man into your life and show you all He has for you. If He doesn’t have Mr. Right come your way anytime soon, then just pursue intimacy with your Savior, that’s all he wants. As someone who did get married at 21, take it from me, you will never miss out on the beauty of life. Only the best lies ahead!

To Have and To Hold

Tomorrow, Jordan and I will celebrate two years of marriage. I cannot believe that time has flown by this quickly, and while I look forward to the future, I want time to slow down so I may squeeze the very best out of each minute with the one I love so dearly. I have learned a lot over these past few years, some good lessons, some hard lessons, but all necessary. After some reflection, I have decided to share just a few things I never expected to learn from our marriage. Jordan is my best friend, greatest teacher, and sweetest love, what a blessing it is to walk through life with him.

25 Things I Never Expected From Marriage:

1. Romance would shift from an accumulation of fancy gifts to small acts of service, and the service would mean much more than the fancy gift.
2. Sleeping together would feel like a dream each and every night.
3. The very best date nights would include a redbox movie, QT drinks, and Little Caesars pizza.
4. Being poor and happy, means so much more than plenty of money to blow.
5. There is never nothing to talk about.
6. Submitting to Jordan’s leadership would be a daily act of giving up control, while it has gotten a little easier, it will never be my natural inclination. I pray for a submissive heart as much as I pray for anything else.
7. Knowing Jordan’s flaws and seeing him fail has only caused me to love him more, because where he has failed in the past he has overcome through a humble and contrite spirit.
8. My flaws would become more visible, but I would not walk through my failures alone. Jordan has helped guide me and above all he has loved me unconditionally in spite of myself.
9. A small home with many projects would be the greatest test of a marriage and sanity.
10. The first year would be so hard and the second would feel like the honeymoon all over again.
11. Our differences would slowly begin to fade.
12. One phrase changes the entire course of an argument.
13. Saying “I’m sorry” means much more than being right.
14. The only acceptance I desire would be from The Lord and Jordan- no one else’s thoughts matter.
15. Sacrificing money, time, or pride would mean nothing in comparison to seeing a smile on Jordan’s face.
16. Pursuing intimacy with Jesus only produced a greater intimacy with Jordan.
17. Attraction and physical intimacy would derive from a love of each other’s souls, not a perfect body, face, and hair. No matter how Jordan looks, no one could ever give me tingles the way he does.
18. Time together is the greatest commodity.
19. Marriage would turn even the most logical of men into a Mr. Darcy.
20. Morning snuggles would help us get through the day, especially on Mondays.
21. Despite our differences, we would never want to change anything about the other.
22. Ambitions would change from a desire to be a career woman to aspiring to be the best wife, and eventual mother, I could possibly be.
23. Choosing our battles would become easier the more we desired each other’s needs above our own.
24. Marriage would only work at its peak when we are both in the right place with Jesus Christ.
25. Lastly, I never expected to be able to love Jordan any more than I did the day we wed, but each and every day, I realize that I love more because I have a greater capacity to love more. My heart has grown to love Jordan for the man he was, the man he is, and the man he will become. My heart has grown to love what he loves, and my heart has grown to love him for his integrity, his devotion, and his faithfulness to the Lord.

Jordan and I will never have it all together! We have had to learn so much in the past two years, just to even begin to fully understand each other, but Jordan and I love deeply. It is our steadfast love for each other and for the Lord that has bound us together. Our marriage is a product of perseverance and God’s grace, not of our own, selfish doing. These past two years have been the best two years of my life. Each day I wake up to the man God specifically created to walk through life with me. Jordan shares in my sorrows, joys, and all the moments in between. Aside from the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, Jordan is my greatest gift. An eternity by his side will never be enough, but while we are here on earth, I vow now, forever, and just as I did two years ago, to stand beside my husband through all things, to love him in spite of whatever may come, and to pursue with steadfast devotion a deeper relationship with our Savior. I love you with all my heart Jordan Lance.

Changing My Perspective Part II

It has been an icy weekend here in Burleson! We have had three days of nothing, and it has been wonderful! God knows just how caught up we get with everything else, and this weekend, I think He gave us some rest. He has allowed for us to recharge and greet the rest of this beautiful season with full hearts. Today Jordan and I are working on our little projects. He is busy finishing the tile in our kitchen, while I am working on homework/ blog posts. Due to a week-long trip to New York, the craziness of a new job, and the ever-so-consistent school work, I have not had a chance to follow-up with my last post. However, that doesn’t mean I have not taken action.

The day after I posted my last blog, I brought ALL of my clothes into our living room, set up our full length mirror, and began trying on every piece of clothing I had. And you know what I found? I didn’t need over half of what I had. I’d try on pieces I had kept for years and quickly realized why I don’t wear them regularly anymore. I tried on pants that were too small, shirts with snags, dresses that should have been left in High School, and shoes with many stories to tell! With each piece that did not work, I felt relief, not sadness. I was not upset that I don’t fit into my high school jeans anymore, because it means that I have grown up. It means that with the widening of my hips, I have also had a growth in wisdom, maturity, and in my relationship with the Lord. With each dress that was too short, I realized that I had grown from a desire to be noticed for my appearance, to a desire to be respected and loved for my heart. I realized that my confidence was no longer found in just how beautiful I could appear to the rest of the world, but in how my mind and my heart shared the beauty of God’s love! With each shoe that I gave away, I thanked God for the many steps that had been taken, and for allowing me to continue in my walk with Him. Every time I threw another piece of clothing into that unwanted pile, I also felt joy in knowing that my gently used clothing could make another girl feel beautiful. My unwanted and unnecessary clothing could be what keeps a girl warm at night, or what gives her the confidence to walk into school with a pretty outfit. As I reminded myself of what my old clothing could be used for, the more I was encouraged to give away.

When I started going through my clothes, I had 2 closets worth of stuff that filled an entire living room floor. By the end of the day, the clothing I kept was laid out on the couch and fit in the closet Jordan and I share. Six baskets of shoes were dwindled down to just a few, and for the first time every t-shirt I own can fit nicely into our dresser. When it came time to pack for our trip to New York, the process wasn’t stressful because I already knew everything I had! Each day I wake up it takes less time to get ready because I am not trying to find what fits or looks the best, everything just works. What a stress reliever it has been!

I don’t know if I will ever be perfect at this whole organization thing, but I am determined with live without clutter. I am determined to be grateful for what I have, and to only spend my time and money on things that truly matter to me. Does this mean I won’t enjoy a little shopping with my mom and sister? No, it just means that I will buy quality, not quantity. Does this mean that Jordan and I won’t enjoy splurging here and there on household items, projects, or vacations? No! We will still enjoy certain things in life, but we will not buy in order to just have more. In my next post I will share how my perspective in regards to our home has changed, and I will even share how I have dealt with the accumulation of stuff in regards to all things Christmas. I hope and pray that my life will never be defined by my accumulation of things or by the fulfillment of every desire (good or bad) that I ever had. I pray my life with be defined as one who loved Jesus with her whole heart, walked in humility, and encouraged others in their walk. I realize going through clothing may seem a bit trivial to some, but as I found with my closet, God uses even the small things to teach huge life lessons.

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

Matthew 6:19-20

I’m Feeling 22…Life in Transition

The popular Taylor Swift song glorifies being twenty-two. It’s catchy, popular, and just so happens to be the opposite of how I have felt about being twenty-two. Granted I am unlike many twenty-two year olds in that I am married, own a home in the suburbs, and have an intense bout of baby fever. But along with all that grown up talk, I have yet to finish my degree (August 2014 better hurry up y’all!), I am struggling to get a photography business consistently growing, I am the ONLY one of my closest friends who is married, and out of the close friends I have around me now I am the only one without kids or some on the way. I am literally in a twenty-two year olds no man’s land. One minute I am worrying about finances and trying to sneak through the baby section at Target, the next I’m at a Justin Bieber concert (which was awesome by the way, don’t hate!). Life is at just an awkward transition. I’m learning that college ruins a girls wardrobe, and that marriage ruins any hope of returning to the jeans I wore in High School. Yoga pants, sorority t-shirts, and Nike shorts, don’t cut it in the real world. I am learning that school after marriage is frustrating and monotonous, and while it is necessary to finish, the motivation to finish is extremely lacking. I am learning that baby fever comes fast and envelopes your whole mind and CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT be removed once it has festered in the mind. I am learning that owning a home, while it is a wonderful thing, is also a money drain because things are constantly needing to be done. And throughout all of this, I have noticed that I have been real quick to feel sorry for myself (or take it out on my husband) rather than going to the Father. I have sought to live stress free, without seeking His wisdom and understanding. I have prayed for different situations before asking for the Lord’s will to be done. And I have looked back, instead of pressing on towards what is ahead. Being twenty-two has been hard for me, but it should never have been used as an excuse to push the Lord out of my life. Will I look back on this year of my life and love every aspect about it? Heck no! However, I will be able to look back and see just how much God allowed for me to grow, in spite of my selfish attitude. Aside from all the funny/ridiculous lessons I have learned, I am in the process of learning to develop an attitude of gratefulness and constant seeking of the Lord’s will. Right now I am meant to be in this stage of life. He is in complete control! Despite my lazy wardrobe, project weekends, school frustrations, financial worries, and baby rabies filled life, God knows where I am. He understands my fears and worries. He wraps me in His comforting arms. He gives blessings along the way to remind me He is in control, and He continually uses each lesson to shape me into the woman I am supposed to be for Him. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I do know, without a doubt, who has planned my steps. If you are at a transitional point in life, I urge you to turn to the Father. Don’t waste time fretting about things you have no control over, like I did. Instead choose to seize each day, to wake up knowing that God will teach you something and reveal Himself to you, if you allow Him to. Our world is filled with too much stress and not enough gratefulness. From this day forward, I refuse to let stress de-rail me from pressing on towards what God has for me. I refuse to let my feelings of self-doubt and insecurity take over my confidence and joy in the Lord. Above all, I refuse to let twenty-two be a year in which I learned nothing. In a few weeks, I will turn twenty-three. I pray that when I transition from this year to the next that I will look forward for all the things ahead…After all there is a college graduation, the hope of a baby, financial stability (once I’m a graduate), deeper relationships in our community, more time with family, another wonderful year with the love of my life, coming up. Above all there is to look forward to, I pray twenty-three will be a year in which my relationship with the Lord only grows.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Memorial Day with my handsome Hubby! After our house had just gone through some MAJOR organizing!

Big project of the summer Operation new porch and roof.

Me at the JB Concert.